Dear Dr. Burgess,
Do you have any advice on how to get my 2 year old adjusted too being around people. She is fine when we take her out to eat and to the grocery store. Whenever family comes over to the house she cries non-stop. She is only around my parents, myself, and my husband and I believe this may have started all of this. She has traveled on planes , and sometimes she cries and says she is ready to go bye bye and I think this is due to the closeness of people. Any tips to overcome this by three.
Dear Parent,
Thank you for reaching out and for sharing your question. I am sorry to hear that your daughter is experiencing this challenge. If it is Stranger Anxiety, it may become more manageable over time on its own. One average, children’s worries about being around less familiar adults begin to resolve around age two, but everyone’s timing is different. One way to help her through this process could be to gradually present her with new people in limited doses: having a friend or family member come over but not stay long, followed by another visit that lasts a little longer, and so on. You can add to the support you give your daughter by letting her know in advance that a friend is coming to visit. Try not to give a lot of attention to the crying; share more of your eye contact, words, and emotions with her when she is doing well with having a stranger around. This approach of desensitizing her to others in manageable increments combined with giving attention and praise for more flexible and trusting responses to adults, can go a long way toward helping your daughter to understand that you would only allow her to be in safe situations.
If needed you can also institute small rewards, like stickers, as reinforcements for doing a good job of regulating her emotions and behaviors when new adults are nearby. If the behavior persists and it seems to be interfering with her daily life, you can always talk to her pediatrician or a local play therapist for additional advice.
I hope this is helpful and will be thinking good thoughts on your behalf.
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